A man from New York revealed in his own obituary that he was gay and had never come out due to a fear of “being ostracized.”
Col. Edward Thomas Ryan, Ret., originally from Rensselaer, New York, disclosed in his obituary that he had a 25-year relationship with a man named Paul Cavagnaro, who passed away in 1994. They remained together until Cavagnaro’s death due to a medical procedure gone wrong.
“I was in a loving and caring relationship with Paul Cavagnaro of North Greenbush. He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together,” Ryan wrote.
Ryan’s obituary highlighted his military and firefighter background, listing commendations like the National Defense Service Medal and the Defense of Liberty Medal. He also mentioned that he would be buried next to Cavagnaro in a New York cemetery.
“I’m sorry for not having the courage to come out as Gay,” he wrote. “I was afraid of being ostracized: by Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Seeing how people like me were treated, I just could not do it. Now that my secret is known, I’ll forever Rest in Peace.”
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His online obituary has received many comments of posthumous support.
“You have nothing to apologize for. I hope your reunion with your loved one was beautiful,” one commenter wrote.
“Thank you for sharing this at your exit. I am sorry our society is as it is and that you were unable to live your life truthfully in the open. Your service and duty to society helped many I am sure. Just a random stranger expressing a few thoughts,” another person commented.