Veteran firefighter reveals same-sex relationship in obituary

A man from New York, Col. Edward Thomas Ryan, Ret., shared in his obituary that he was gay but never felt able to come out due to fears of facing rejection and exclusion.

In his obituary, Ryan revealed that he had a loving relationship with a man named Paul Cavagnaro for 25 years, until Cavagnaro passed away in 1994 following a medical mishap. Ryan expressed, “He was the love of my life. We had 25 great years together.”

Ryan’s obituary detailed his decorated career as a retired colonel in the military and a firefighter, listing accolades such as the National Defense Service Medal and the Defense of Liberty Medal. He disclosed his wish to be buried beside Cavagnaro in a cemetery in New York.

“I regret not finding the courage to openly embrace my sexuality,” Ryan confessed. “I was afraid of the potential backlash from my Family, Friends, and Co-Workers. Witnessing the mistreatment of individuals like me deterred me from coming out. Now that my secret is out, I can finally Rest in Peace.”

Posthumously, Ryan’s obituary has garnered an outpouring of supportive comments online. One commenter shared, “You have nothing to apologize for. I hope your reunion with your loved one was beautiful.” Another expressed, “Thank you for sharing your truth in your final moments. It’s unfortunate our society isn’t more accepting, and I appreciate your service and dedication to helping others.”