When it comes to dating profiles, I come across many repetitive phrases as a dating coach who browses through hundreds (if not thousands) of profiles across different dating apps every week.
One particular thing that bothers me is the frequent mention of not wanting to “waste time.”
For some individuals, meeting someone in person for an hour or two seems like a hassle. They prefer to grill their potential match with a list of “important” questions before agreeing to a date, all to avoid the dreaded “waste of time.” However, this approach leads to unrealistic expectations and a false sense of security.
Asking upfront about topics like religion, politics, money, children, and past relationships doesn’t necessarily give you a better insight into the person. It simply aims to eliminate individuals whose answers don’t align with your preferences, narrowing down your pool of potential matches.
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It’s essential to remember the old adage of avoiding certain topics in polite conversations, which also applies to first dates and initial interactions. The purpose of a first date is to gauge if there’s a connection, if conversations flow naturally, if you share common interests, and if you feel comfortable with each other. Save the serious discussions for later, after establishing a basic rapport and enjoying each other’s company.
From my perspective, spending an hour to assess compatibility is always worthwhile. Even if the date turns out to be a mismatch, it brings you closer to finding a genuine connection. Remaining open-minded and optimistic during interactions is crucial. Viewing a date as a potential “waste of time” can set a negative tone and hinder the chance of a positive experience. Every date, successful or not, is a learning opportunity in your dating journey.
Although everyone has busy schedules, setting aside an hour for a date is a small time investment to explore a new connection. Dating is a skill that improves with practice, allowing you to refine your preferences and social skills with each encounter. Embrace the experience, regardless of the outcome.
Erika Ettin is the founder of a Little nudge, where she helps others navigate the often intimidating world of online dating. Want to connect with Erika? Join her newsletter, eepurl.com/dpHcH, for updates and tips.
