When it comes to dating profiles, as a dating coach, I come across numerous phrases repeatedly on various dating apps. However, one particular phrase that stands out to me is the mention of not wanting to “waste time.”
Many individuals find it bothersome to meet someone in person for an hour or two. They prefer to conduct an interrogation about important topics before agreeing to a date to avoid wasting their time. Unfortunately, this approach leads to unrealistic expectations and a false sense of stability.
Getting straight to the “big” questions such as religion, politics, finances, future plans, and past relationships does not necessarily provide a better understanding of the person. It simply helps in eliminating those who don’t provide the desired answers, limiting the pool of potential matches.
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It’s important to remember the old adage about avoiding sensitive topics during a polite conversation, which also applies to a first date or initial interactions. The primary purpose of a first date is to gauge if there is a connection, if the conversation flows, if you share common interests, and if you feel comfortable in each other’s presence. The deeper conversations can come later, after establishing a basic rapport.
In my opinion, spending an hour to see if there is compatibility with someone is always a worthwhile investment of time. While it may not always lead to a successful match, it brings you closer to finding someone truly compatible. If scheduling conflicts arise, consider a video call as an alternative.
Attitude plays a significant role in dating. Approaching a date with a negative mindset of it being a waste of time can often become a self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s essential to maintain an open mind and optimism in every new interaction, not just for the sake of the potential match but for oneself as well.
Despite busy schedules and packed calendars, a date is an opportunity to prioritize connecting with a new individual. Viewing it as a chance to discover a potential connection rather than a burden can make the experience more enjoyable. Each date, regardless of the outcome, helps in refining preferences and improving social skills.
Embracing the fact that dating is a skill that improves with practice is crucial. Every date, whether it leads to a relationship or not, offers valuable lessons about oneself and dating preferences. Each encounter contributes to the journey of finding a meaningful connection.
Erika Ettin, the founder of A Little Nudge, assists individuals in navigating the world of online dating. To stay connected with Erika, subscribe to her newsletter here for updates and tips.
