Jon Stewart appeared on The Daily Show on Thursday night (June 27) following the CNN debate between President Joe Biden and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump, and he, like many, was left exasperated.
“We just watched what you watched,” the late-night host began before airing clips from various news media pundits sharing their thoughts on what Biden and Trump needed to do to have a successful debate. For Biden, it was to stay alert, don’t stumble, and “stay upright,” while for Trump, he needed to play “nice” and not interrupt.
As far as Stewart was concerned, Biden and Trump failed on pretty much all these fronts other than staying on their feet. The comedian showed clips of Trump continually insulting Biden for having “the worst presidency in history” and then aired the various moments where Biden stammered or lost his train of thought mid-sentence.
“Anybody can f*** up talking,” Stewart said, referring to a moment where Biden misspoke and said he “beat” Medicare instead of saving it. “I’m sure it’s not something that, repeated throughout the debate, is causing Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling bin.”
Additionally, Stewart pointed out Biden’s moments where he stood with an open mouth, often staring off into space.
“A lot of people have resting 25th amendment face,” he joked.
As for Trump, Stewart said, “he does not appear to have passed the a**hole test” and focused on the numerous bald-faced lies he told throughout the debate.
One of the claims Trump made was that he “didn’t sleep with a porn star,” referencing the adult film actress Stormy Daniels. “She was a porn character actor at best,” Stewart quipped.
Towards the end of his monologue, Stewart touched on the claims from Trump’s camp that Biden would be taking some form of performance-enhancement drug to get him through the debate.
“One thing we did prove tonight was that the MAGA conspiracy theory about Biden’s upcoming debate performance was nonsense,” Stewart stated.
He summed up, “Let me just say, after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs. As much of it as they can get, as many times a day as their bodies will allow. If performance-enhancing drugs will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and in one of the candidate’s cases, improve their truthfulness, morality, and malignant narcissism, then suppository away.”
“They should be taking whatever magical drugs can to kick their brains into gear, because this ain’t Olympic swimming,” Stewart added. “And if those drugs don’t exist, if there aren’t actually performance-enhancing drugs for these candidates, I could sure f****** use some recreational ones right now because THIS cannot be real life. It just can’t!”
The Daily Show, Weeknights, 11:30/10:30c, Comedy Central
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