Dear Eric: My brother is always facing financial struggles. Despite turning to me in the past, he recently sought help from our well-off sister. However, we never get the money back when he asks. I seem to be the easy option for him.
Since my sister couldn’t provide the $6,000 he needed to pay off credit cards, I offered to help, knowing I wouldn’t see the money returned. I can accept that.
My brother thinks my sister gave him the money (which I don’t mind). However, my sister ensures he pays $100 monthly by calling him every month. We use a cash app to conceal that the payment goes directly to me. It will take five more years to settle this. I can’t handle the monthly routine and the drama anymore.
I don’t want to be a creditor to my brother. It stresses me out and bothers me, knowing he is trying his best to provide for his family. Ultimately, I end up returning the payment to him anyway. It’s absurd. I want out. I want to confess to my brother that it was me and that I don’t expect it back. What should I do? — Wants to Cash Out
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Dear Cash Out: Your sister doesn’t have a say in this matter. She has created a complex scenario to teach your brother a lesson. However, she cannot enforce a debt that is not owed to her. Inform your brother directly that the debt is forgiven. Then, tell your sister about your actions.
It’s common to impose our financial values onto others. However, your sister’s involvement in your brother’s financial decisions is unnecessary. Your brother’s financial choices are not your sister’s concern.
Dear Eric: Over the past year, my husband and I received invitations to three weddings and a graduation from our close relatives’ children, all of which we were unable to attend due to being out of state. Despite sending a gift, we have not received any acknowledgment or thank you note from any of them.
These relatives are all under 30. The lack of gratitude from the younger generation when receiving gifts is disheartening. It has reached a point where we are hesitant to send gifts for special occasions. How can we address this situation? — Disenchanted Gift Giver
Dear Giver: The absence of thank you notes and expressions of gratitude is a common issue. It may be helpful to communicate with your close relatives regarding their children’s lack of acknowledgement or directly address the children about your expectations when giving a gift. Expressing your expectations clearly is important.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com.
