Dear Amy: I’m struggling to let go of feeling snubbed by a longtime close friend.
My bond with “Shelley” involved our families sharing celebrations, moments, and support for many years.
I recently found out through a mutual friend that we were both left out of important events hosted by her family, while other friends and family members were invited.
At a different social gathering, Shelley approached me and asked for forgiveness without specifying the offense.
Although I said “Yes,” I still feel hurt by the situation.
She didn’t address my feelings and simply mentioned that she’s been preoccupied. Then she walked away.
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The interaction was strange, and her apology felt insincere.
Since then, she has tried to engage with me at social events, but I have been keeping my distance.
I’m torn between moving on and accepting that our friendship isn’t as close as I believed, or addressing the issue with her.
I value your straightforward advice. Should I just move on and stop dwelling on this? — Snubbed in Seattle
Dear Snubbed: You are not overreacting.
Your emotions are valid.
Attempting to decipher this emotional response, let me clarify: Love makes us feel like high schoolers, while being excluded can make us feel like middle-schoolers.
Shelley’s approach at the social event, while tactful, lacked a genuine apology.
Isn’t an apology supposed to come before seeking forgiveness?
At this point, it’s crucial to address the issue like an adult. Express your confusion to her and seek clarification. Only then can you truly move forward.
Dear Amy: I’ve been a loyal customer of the same car mechanic since I moved to a new city four years ago.
Though I know he’s a father, he has never worn a wedding ring. During my last visit, he offered to take my car for a test drive with me, but I declined.
I’ve had feelings for him for a while. Should I express them, or is this inappropriate? — Wanting in Oregon
Dear Wanting: I once had a crush on a contractor who worked on my house, and I eventually confessed. We’ve been happily married for 16 years.
The risk involved is that he may not reciprocate your feelings, which could result in finding a new mechanic.
You Can Email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com.
